Spastic Squirrels

There are a lot of squirrels on campus. A LOT of squirrels. I'm not used to this many squirrels! None of the trees around my house are the kind of trees that squirrels like. I don't see squirrels at home at all. No squirrels. But, now I've been thrown into this world where the squirrels reign as king. That's right, you heard me, squirrels are the ultimate power on this campus.

Everywhere you go on campus, you run into a squirrel, and they know they have the ultimate power. They'll sit and stare at you with the most intimidating glare that a squirrel can muster. It's quite nerve racking to be stared down by a small furry rat that has more authority than you.

One of the first days I was here, I was sitting under a tree with a group of people, talking and laughing, the whole college experience. It was a great time, that was until the squirrel decided to attack. Suddenly he came bounding out of the tree we were under, it's cheeks stuffed with ammunition. Acorns. A human's worst fear. He took off leaving us with the fear of another attack, knowing that it had only been a warning.

The other day, I was innocently walking to my next class when all of the sudden I came across the enemy, a squirrel. This squirrel was obviously a mighty warrior in the squirrel army. He only had one eye and he had in his mouth an acorn grenade. He glared at me and dared me to step on his precious grass. I made no such move and headed down the paved path in relative safety, barely escaping the encounter alive.

With that, I leave you with one word of advice, when you see a squirrel, flee as fast as possible. These creatures are armed and dangerous and ultimately control the world.