Monday, November 30, 2009

Graffitied Watertowers

I know, I know, it's been quite a while since my last post, but things have been quite crazy around here. Since we are nearing the end of the semester, I have projects to complete, papers to write, and exams to study for. It's all in the life of a college student, but you know what? I'm thankful for it all. I'm one of the few people who get to go to college to better their education. I have three hot meals a day and a warm room to stay in. And a great group of friends.
As I've mentioned before, I've been going to a small group on Sunday afternoons and I've become pretty good friends with a couple of the people in the group. Yesterday when we met, we all decided to go on a walk together. The house that we meet at every Sunday isn't too far from Highland park and the reservoir that's up there, so we headed up to take a stroll around the reservoir and check out the legal graffiti that is on these water towers up there. It turned out to be a crazy time hanging out with these people. All of us are quite artistic in some form (probably one of the reasons we all get along) so looking at the graffiti turned into quite an interesting experience. Since one of the girls in the group works in a photo studio, half of the walk turned into a photo shoot.

Me, Erica, Paul and Sen

The one who's actually climbing is Jon, who is a member of Push Physical Theater, hence the ability to climb the wall. The rest of us are wannabe's.

One thing I've learned about college is that somehow everything ends in snuggle/nap time. It's the natural way things go. Being all tuckered out after the walk, we all crashed on the couch. What you can't see is that I'm on the other side of this pile. Like I said, it's the natural course of things.

So, life's been good. I'm glad to be back at college after break, and I'm so glad that God's given me a wonderful (and crazy) group of friends to spend time with.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

A Little Too Much Drama

I love myself a good theater production. It's one of the main things I spent my time doing in high school. At certain times of the year, theater, or rather drama club, became my life. And I loved this. So, naturally I thought that I would absolutely love theater in college, and when the drama club auditions came around I eagerly signed up for the One Act Festival and got the role in the two person act of The Ferris Wheel. I was ecstatic.
We started practicing and I found myself getting picked on by my fellow actor. A couple practices in, he began calling me things such as "heartless," and "evil" and saying things to me such as "your poor husband! He's going to HATE living with you!" No matter how many times I told him to stop picking on me or leave me alone, he would not stop. I began to dread going to practice for the mere reason that I would inevitably end up getting picked on at some point. Finally, I snapped. I began responding to everything he said negatively and making negative comments directed towards him. I know that this was not the right thing to do, but I just could not handle his comments any more. That night after practice, he proceeded to follow me, ranting about how I made him forget all his lines with my negativity and how I had made him feel worthless. I just kept my mouth shut. There was nothing I could say to this kid to make him realize how big of a jerk he had been to me all along. The next day, after calming myself to a reasonable place, I sent him an email explaining that if he wants people to be nice to him, he cannot walk around calling people heartless and evil or they will snap at him. Needless to say, I have not spoken two words to him since. Although, I do have a back up plan if he begins to pick on me again.
You see, I have a friend on campus, Sen, who is like an older brother to me. If I need someone to walk with me in the wee hours of the morning from the library to my dorm, Sen's the one I'll call. If a guy is bothering me and won't stop, Sen's good for that too. Lucky for me this guy in drama club is apparently terrified of Sen. So, Sen advised me to tell this kid that if he doesn't stop annoying me, Sen'll come after him. Good plan... good plan.
But this isn't even all of the drama.
I received a text the other night, the same night I snapped at him, that we had practice. I had not realized this, and I had a test first thing in the morning the next day. Considering the fact that I just ended up sitting on the stage and not doing any thing for most of the night, I began asking if I could leave so that I could study for my exam in the morning. People began questioning my loyalty to drama club. I gave them the rational answer that I give anyone who questions why I care so much about my grades. "To even be looked at for a good doctoral program for psychology you have to have minimally a 3.5 average. A 3.5 for them to even LOOK at your application!" Considering the whole reason that I am at Roberts is to get into a good doctoral program, getting around a 3.75 is my main goal. One girl who was helping us that night then replied to me, "Well, if you care about your grades that much, maybe you shouldn't be in drama club!" So, apparently to be in drama club you can't care about your grades. That kind of attitude sets me off a little bit. Isn't the whole reason we're all in college to get good grades and get a good job? I guess I'm just weird in that aspect....
So, as you can see, drama club is not going too well for me. There seems to be a little to much, well, drama involved. I can honestly say that if everything continues on like this, I may be done with theater at Roberts. I am not going to spend time with people who are willing to pick on other people nonstop no matter what, and I am not willing to spend time with people who are not coming to college for good grades, who are not coming to college to take advantage of every opportunity to further their education.
One Act Festival is in two weeks, and if things start looking up by that point, I will still participate in theater at Roberts. If things continue on the same course as now, I will be done with theater, and done with all the drama that goes along with it.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Your Love Never Fails

Things happen in life. Family members die. Friends move on. Life changes. People get mad at each other. It's all part of this big messy thing that we call life. It can be hard. It can be kind of sucky sometimes. But it's all because we live in a broken, fallen, messed up world. This world is not perfect, and it never will be.
And yet, we don't have to live broken, messed up lives.
I was sitting alone in my dorm last night and I just started talking with God. So much has been happening in my life. So much crap. I just started telling Him what was going on and He began to speak things to my heart. Whisper quietly and calm me. There is truly nothing on this earth like hearing the voice of God soothe you and tell you what your heart and your soul needs to hear. One thing that He began to speak to me was a song. He was speaking lines of a song to my heart and it wasn't until tonight that it finally clicked with me what song He was singing to my soul.

The lyrics go:
You stay the same through the ages
Your love never fails
There may be pain in the night
But joy comes in the morning

Put that in first person, and you have God's words to my heart last night. His love never fails. I think that's just what I'm going to have to tell my heart every time I start to feel my soul getting weary, feeling like I just want to give in.
God's love never fails.