I've heard this so many times over the past 7 months or so, that it's almost become cliched in a way, and yet, it is still true to the very core of the statement.You never know when another wave of grief is going to hit you.
Tonight, I was at Java's with a big group of friends; we were all laughing and carrying on as we always do.
Then, another friend of ours came in with a different group of people.
She began talking about how she had been sick off and on for the past few months, and in a joking manner, commented on how she had been cured of tuberculosis, encephalitis, cancer, etc.
But it was the encephalitis comment that caused my joy and entertainment to come to a screeching halt.
How could someone make such a flippant comment about encephalitis???
I had already been missing David today, wishing that he could come to my play this afternoon, but that comment, it just sent me over the edge.
I'm sure that the life drained out of my face immediately.
If I hadn't been sitting on the inside of a booth, and if I would not have had to displace about four people, I would have gotten up, gone to the bathroom, and cried.
But I held it together.
I sat in that booth, and tried to pull myself back together when all I wanted to do was scream out about how people should not make flippant comments about encephalitis.
I guess it's just another area where I have continued healing to do.
6 comments:
I'm sorry honey. I really hate when that happens. I was feeling it big time last night too. Nothing earth shattering happened. No-one said or did anything, it was just my reality sneaking in again. There wasn't David to drag me to bed or to even go to bed with. There was no joking around, no kiss good night, no holding me while I fell asleep. There's just me. I was just aching inside. So know that I understand and I am here for you.
So glad that I was able to see your performance today. You are amazing and I adore you.
Love you,
Mama
Continuing to pray for your healing.
It makes my heart break to see you both suffering - and Kyle too...I miss David very much, but cannot feel the pain the way all of you do...I pray for the day that all of you can remember but without so much pain..
I love you so much Paige and loved seeing you on stage again...
Gramma
But that's unfair. She had no idea that what she said would hurt you as much as it did. Her comment wasn't aimed to hurt, but to give hope because, through Christ, she overcame sickness and disease. And if she can overcome her struggles, so can you. God has a bigger plan for your life.
This post was more to talk about how something can totally take you off guard and cause you to have to deal with another facet of grief.
If there is anything you feel the need to talk with me, email me at randomismyname@gmail.com and we can discuss any issue further.
This makes me so sad every time I read it. I know what you mean about little things triggering that onslaught of grief. I remember during a period in high school where Josh and I had broken up, I just smelled the shirt that he had changed out of to go to gym class and I almost started crying.
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