Where is Home?

Tonight is my last night home before heading back to school, and never before have I felt reluctance in wanting to go back. Sure, I'm ready to go back, hug my friends, get back into the routine of things, and get learning once again, but there has been a question running through my mind lately that is not lost. I feel as if my life is split between two worlds. My world of school and my world of home. Which one do I belong in? As much as I love school, and sometimes slip up and call it home, it will never truly be home to me. And yet, when I think of home, it's not the same any more. The best way that I can put it is in a combination of two songs. The first is Copeland's song "The Day I Lost My Voice" and the chorus describes how I feel when I have to pack and leave one of my two "homes":

I've got my life in a suitcase

I'm ready to run, run, run away...

I've got no time cause

I'm always ready to run, run, run away...

Cause everyday it feels like it's only a game

I've got my life in a suitcase, a suitcase, a suitcase...

That line, "I've got my life in a suitcase," has become all to real to me. It's become so easy to pack up all those meaningless things that we validate as our lives into suitcases (or in my case a navy bag) and move on. Especially easy for a college student who really does not have all that much in the first place.

The second song that really has hit me kind of speaks for itself. Jon Foreman's "Southbound Train":

I'm headed home

Yeah, but I'm not so sure

That home is a place

That will ever be the same...

Being in college for almost six months now has changed me immensely, and one of the ways that I'm realizing more and more that it has changed me is in the way that I view home. School is not my home, and, in many ways, my parent's home does not feel completely like home any more. Some how I have grown to feel like I have no Earthly home and time and time again I am realizing that my only true home is in heaven with my Father God. And with this realization, bad or not, I feel as if I will never have a true home on this Earth again. I long for home, but not one here, and is that necessarily a bad thing?