Home Again

Home again, home again... How I long to be home again...
When I first came to college, I had this aversion to spending time at home.
I think I was afraid that if I went home, I was not going to want to go back to school, that I would start to slip back into how life used to be and I would give up on my dreams and passions, the things that I fight to hold on to.
I cannot truly say for certain that this is what kept me from the farm house in my home town, so separate from the rest of the world, but looking back from where I stand now, I can see how that could very well be my subconscious thought at that time in my life.
Now I view home differently.
This little old farm house that I now sit in, surrounded by fields, buffeted so strongly by the wind that my bed shakes ever so slightly, has become a sanctuary for me.
When I need a reprieve from life, when I need to rejuvenate myself body, mind, and spirit, it is the place that I long to run to.
And I hope to keep my parent's house just that way.
It will always be a place of peace and sanctuary in my mind.
Tonight, I stepped out on the back patio for just a few minutes to enjoy the (relatively) warm breeze and stare up at the stars.
I cannot see the stars when I am at school... At least not in the same way.
They're dull, blurred out, faded from the city lights.
But tonight, standing out on the back patio, the wind whipping around me, tossing my hair everywhere, I was able to see them so clearly, and for a moment, all the stress that has been on me, all the planning for my future, all the interviews, all the applications, all the disappointments, everything just melted away.
It was just me and the sky.
It was just me and God
And for a minute, I was reminded of how blessed I am to have a God who loves me so much that he tailor made that specific moment to romance my heart, to say, I'm still here, I haven't left, lean on Me this next week, regain your strength from Me...
Mmmm....
I get so caught up in life that I stop letting Him romance me.
He is my God, my father, my friend.... my lover.
Maybe I'll save that concept for another post.
For now, I am simply glad to be home to rest, relax, and destress.
Home again, home again... How glad I am to be home again.